Apparently you make a good broom.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
