i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
