my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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