he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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