Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
