So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Panties = found
Randomize
