Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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