My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
