so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
