drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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