i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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