It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Houston, we have a squirter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
