There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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