Im at strip club and am horny
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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