hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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