Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
