U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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