My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
