Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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