D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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