we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
whose ass print is on the piano?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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