my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
