I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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