I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
