small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
