trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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