I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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