My first STD was from a foam party
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
