I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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