dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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