Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
