think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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