on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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