In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
