..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
