just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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