I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
