She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
