How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
