marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
