Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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