i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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