I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
