i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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