I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
