as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
