I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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