ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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