just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
