Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
